#1The Monologue
Nevada regulators this week approved permits allowing Tesla, Uber, and Waymo to put as many as eight thousand robotaxis on the streets of Clark County. Eight thousand driverless cars, in Las Vegas, all at once — so the house finally found a way to take your money before you even reach the table. Re: TechCrunch — Tesla, Uber, and Waymo all get the OK to operate thousands of robotaxis in Nevada
The Federal Reserve's annual symposium opened today in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, where the world's most powerful central bankers gather in the mountains to discuss the economy. Markets are pricing in an eighty-five percent chance of a rate cut — which is the financial industry's way of saying they've already decided, and they're just waiting for a man in a fleece vest to confirm it. Re: Bloomberg — What to Look Out for at the Fed's Jackson Hole Gathering
The Los Angeles Lakers have been sold to Bob Iger and Joshua Kushner at a twelve-and-a-half-billion-dollar valuation, the largest price ever paid for a sports franchise. That's up from ten billion just last year — which means the Lakers appreciated faster than the housing market, and unlike your house, the Lakers occasionally win something. Re: CNBC — Bob Iger, Joshua Kushner buy Los Angeles Lakers at a $12.5 billion valuation
A man in a full Darth Vader costume signed up for public comment at a San Diego city committee meeting and delivered a straight-faced endorsement of the city's Flock license-plate surveillance contract, complete with heavy breathing. More than thirty other residents spoke against the contract without the assistance of a helmet.
A sheep escaped its pasture in Lüdinghausen, Germany, wandered onto a bus company's lot, and boarded an unlocked parked bus, where a driver found it during a litter check. While waiting for its owner, the sheep was taken through the facility's bus-sized wash.
A twenty-six-year-old former car salesman, Clément Vandenkerckhove, was legally confirmed as the son of Belgium's Prince Laurent and is now a prince himself, following a quiet town hall ceremony disclosed this week. He receives the title, but no place in the line of succession and no royal allowance.
A loose bull calf wandered into a Walmart parking lot on San Antonio's South Side, approached the front doors, then evaded police and animal care officers by disappearing into an underground drainage tunnel. Officers named him Moodini and recovered him roughly ninety minutes later; his owner is still unidentified.
#7The Groaner
I asked the librarian whether they had any books on paranoia. She leaned in and whispered, "They're right behind you."
