The Lighter Side — Saturday, August 22, 2026 at 4:15 PM

#1The Monologue

Nevada regulators this week unanimously approved up to seven thousand robotaxis for Clark County, clearing Tesla, Waymo and Uber to run driverless cars all over Las Vegas. Which means, for the first time in the city's history — the vehicle is the only one in it not making a terrible decision. Re: TechCrunch — Tesla, Uber, and Waymo all get the OK to operate thousands of robotaxis in Nevada

Google signed a deal this week letting it buy up to twelve point two billion dollars of Marvell Technology stock while Marvell builds chips for Google's AI infrastructure. So Google is now paying a company to make the thing that answers the questions people used to ask Google — that's not a business strategy, that's a snake eating a chip fab. Re: Tech Startups — Top Tech News Today, August 21, 2026

Catcher Jake Rogers has now played for four major league teams in twenty-one days, breaking a record that had stood since nineteen-oh-four, and at one stop he had to borrow catching gear from a teammate. He has spent more time in overhead bins this month — than most luggage. Re: Forbes — Everybody Loves Jake As Rogers Breaks Obscure 122-Year-Old MLB Record

#2Sheep Boards Bus, Takes Itself Through Car Wash

An escaped sheep in Lüdinghausen, Germany wandered onto a bus depot, climbed aboard an unlocked parked bus, and rode through the facility's bus-sized wash before its owner was identified by the tag in its ear.

#3Rancher Lassos Loose Bull On California Highway

Deputies and the Highway Patrol spent hours failing to catch a large bull on Highway 35 in Half Moon Bay, then woke ranch foreman Samuel Ramos Palomino after midnight. His rope snapped mid-catch, so he roped the bull again with the leftover half.

#4NJ Transit Jacks Up Train To Retrieve Flushed Ring

Julie Angelicola accidentally flushed a 1905 wedding band down a train toilet, so NJ Transit pulled the train from service, put it on jacks and opened the toilet tank. The ring was sitting right on top, and its engraved initials matched the couple's nicknames.

#5Meanwhile, In Satire

'David Attenborough Admits To Exaggerating Wonder Of Seals' — The Onion, https://theonion.com/david-attenborough-admits-to-exaggerating-wonder-of-seals/

'TripAdvisor to add filter removing reviews from morons' — NewsThump, https://newsthump.com/2026/08/21/tripadvisor-to-add-filter-removing-reviews-from-morons/

'Numerous Casualties At Park In Bloody Turf War Between Tennis Players And Pickleballers' — The Babylon Bee, https://babylonbee.com/news/numerous-casualties-at-park-in-bloody-turf-war-between-tennis-players-and-pickleballers

'Robert Plant Admits Hair Is Noodles' — The Hard Times, https://thehardtimes.net/music/rock/robert-plant-admits-hair-is-noodles/

#6Twenty Tons Of Squid Close A Road For Eight Hours

A fully loaded tractor-trailer hauling squid to a processing plant tipped over at an intersection in Narragansett, Rhode Island, shutting the road from 9:27 in the morning until 5:15 in the evening. Local police named it the Squidpocalypse of '26, and the driver was cited for an unsecured load.

#7The Groaner

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey — but I turned myself around.