#1The Monologue
Dick's Sporting Goods stock fell more than twenty-five percent today, the worst single-day drop in the company's history, after earnings missed estimates and the executive chair announced a "more cautious view" going forward. So the sporting goods company finally learned what it feels like to be picked last. Re: Forbes — Dick's Sporting Goods' Stock Sinks Toward Worst Day In 3 Years
SpaceX completed its one hundredth Falcon 9 launch of the year this morning, setting a reuse record by flying the same first-stage booster for the thirty-seventh time. Thirty-seven flights on one booster — which means Elon Musk has now gotten more mileage out of a rocket than most of us get out of a Corolla. Re: Space.com — SpaceX sets rocket-reuse record on 100th Falcon 9 launch of the year
The Conference Board reported that consumer confidence slipped again this month, to 89.4, coming in below what economists had predicted. Economists were surprised. Consumers were not. Re: CNBC — Stock market news for Aug. 25, 2026
A Maine coon named Erebus Anomaly has been certified by Guinness World Records for having the most toes on a cat, at twenty-nine — eleven more than standard issue. The previous record of twenty-eight was set by a Canadian cat named Jake back in 2002.
Loudoun County Animal Services responded Monday to a report that a bison was loose and, in their words, "creating his own version of a farm tour through the neighborhood." Deputies escorted the animal to a nearby field and identified its owner using the county's livestock database.
North Richland Hills police were dispatched to a report of an animal that might have been a monkey or possibly a small kangaroo. It turned out to be a kinkajou, a relative of the raccoon, sheltering from the heat behind a trash can outside a pizza restaurant.
A black bear wandered into an open bay at Colorado Springs Fire Station 16 on Sunday evening, grabbed a firefighter's gear bag, and left. Crews found the bag in the station yard the next morning, emptied of snacks, with the wrappers left behind.
#7The Groaner
I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
