#1The Monologue
The U.S. national debt has now passed forty trillion dollars. Economists say the number has grown so large it no longer functions as a figure — it's more of a mood. Re: U.S. National Debt Tops $40 Trillion — Democracy Now!
Stripe has finalized a deal to buy the AI startup OpenRouter for more than seven billion dollars. OpenRouter's entire business is deciding which AI model should answer your question — so for seven billion dollars, Stripe has purchased a very expensive shrug. Re: Stripe will reportedly acquire AI gateway startup OpenRouter for $7B+ — TechCrunch
Uber and Pony.ai announced plans to put more than two thousand driverless robotaxis on European roads. They declined to name the cities or the timeline, which is either a phased rollout strategy — or exactly what you'd say if you'd lost track of the cars. Re: Uber and Pony.ai plan to bring 2,000 robotaxis to Europe — TechCrunch
A tractor-trailer hauling squid overturned in Narragansett, Rhode Island, dumping more than twenty tons of it across an intersection that stayed closed for eight hours in the August sun. Police dubbed it the "Squidpocalypse of '26," and the driver was cited for an unsecured load.
A sheep in Lüdinghausen, Germany, wandered off its pasture, boarded an unlocked parked bus, and was found by the driver during a litter check. While waiting for its owner — identified by an ear tag — the sheep rode through the depot's bus-sized car wash.
Pushpajothi Ravikumar, 29, of the United Arab Emirates set a Guinness World Record by hand-writing 150 different words onto one sticky note in Dubai. She chose mostly three-letter words to conserve space and broke the record on her first attempt.
An escaped Angus bull calf wandered into a Walmart parking lot on San Antonio's Southeast Military Drive, approached the front door, then evaded Animal Care Services officers by fleeing into an underground drainage tunnel. The 90-minute pursuit ended when the calf — nicknamed "Moodini" — stopped to rest and was walked to a livestock trailer; his owner claimed him the next day.
#7The Groaner
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."
