#1Bear claims Colorado kiddie pool as its own
A Steamboat Springs woman found a black bear taking a leisurely dip in her backyard kiddie pool this week. Wildlife officials call it normal July bear behavior. Source: UPI — upi.com
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#2Man plunges his way into the record books
A man in Germany set a Guinness World Record for popping balloons with a toilet plunger. The record is official; the balloons never stood a chance. Source: UPI — upi.com
#3Seattle's roundest raccoon achieves fame
A notably round raccoon named Jimothy has become a viral celebrity in Seattle, complete with fans and media coverage. Source: UPI — upi.com
Meanwhile, In Satire
"Man Resents Home Run For Making Him Pause Eating, Clap" — The Onion, theonion.com
"Idaho Builds Border Wall Out Of Potatoes To Keep Out Californians" — The Babylon Bee, babylonbee.com
"Quinoa Not Pronounced Like That, Say Experts" — NewsThump, newsthump.com
"Theater-Goer Shocked as Tiny Men Emerge From 'The Odyssey' Popcorn Bucket" — The Hard Times, thehardtimes.net
The Groaner
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Wildcard
#4Husband's "research" yields $500,000
A Maryland man who told lottery officials he'd been researching scratch-off odds won $500,000 — vindicating every husband who has ever described a questionable hobby as research. Source: UPI — upi.com
